


Infinite Light

by dearmika



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Levi/Zeke will sorta be a one-night stand thing hehe, M/M, Pining, Underage Drinking, eren + armin + mikasa friendship cause I'm a sucker for this trio, the rating might go up...?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25078783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearmika/pseuds/dearmika
Summary: AU. Levi has to deal with a teenager and the loss of a loved one, Armin thinks he might be in love with Eren and Mikasa doesn't know what to do with her own feelings. In short: life is a trainwreck and everyone's on board.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein, Hange Zoë/Levi, Levi/Zeke (Shingeki no Kyojin), Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Past Levi/Erwin Smith - Relationship, one-sided Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager - Relationship
Kudos: 21





	Infinite Light

Levi examined the glass in his hand.

When he was younger and a lot more rebellious, living under the roof of his poor excuse for an uncle in a run-down neighborhood, and getting into back-alley fights with kids double his size, he could never have guessed that one day he would find himself slouching on the couch of his nice suburban home, a glass of red wine in one hand and a controller in the other, flicking through the channels on a Friday night, after a long and tiresome week at work.

But he wasn't complaining. Hell, he could even say life was damn good right now. His job as a personal trainer and part-time instructor paid well, and he had his own home, bought with hard-earned money. He didn’t have to live under someone else’s rules, was free to wake up as early as he wanted, go on morning runs and clean to his heart’s content. One might say he had gone soft, but if anything, Levi was glad things turned out the way they did, that he didn’t follow in his uncle's footsteps: dead before his time, leaving behind a lifetime of regrets.

He even had a teenager in tow, although she wasn’t his daughter. Mikasa Ackerman, a third cousin from his mother’s side — a mere linguistic formality, since he never even met his father — was already living with him for 10 years. It seemed surreal how fast time went by.

Mikasa was still a child when she moved in with him, carrying around a Totoro stuffed toy and shooting silent, disapproving glares at anyone who dared wear shoes inside the house, a habit she picked up in Japan, where her mother, who decided to go back to her home country after her husband’s death, was still living ‘temporarily’. The girl’s stay was also supposed to be temporary, but six months strecthed into a year, then another, and another, until people eventually stopped asking if she was going back to Japan. Now Mikasa was already 17, but to Levi’s relief, she didn’t change much with the years: the quiet child turned into a calm teenager, with a blunt personality and habits that were similar to his. Not that either of them would ever admit it.

Said teenager suddenly came down the stairs, filling the air with the fresh scent of a perfume her mother sent as a birthday present, a beaten-up red purse trespassed in her shoulder, and sat down in the armchair unceremoniously.

“Where the hell are you going?”

“Snort some coke and get high in the park” Mikasa deadpanned, checking her phone. She was dressed in better fashion than the usual workout clothes and oversized shirts she usually had on. A party, he guessed.

“It’s 10:30.” Levi frowned, muting the TV.

“Why are you watching Naked and Afraid?” she ignored his remark, the tiniest hint of a smile in the corner of her lips.

“I’m not, it’s a commercial.” He barked. “Ugh, that’s why I hate teenagers. You don’t even bother asking before going out”

“I never asked permission to go out” she frowned.

“Because you’ve always been a brat”

Raising Mikasa wasn’t particularly challenging; she was diligent from a young age and never shied away from his strenuous house cleaning routines and tough workouts. The Ackerman family was known for being extremely stubborn, so there was a fair amount of glaring and frowning between the two cousins, but in these 10 years, they never got into a serious fight. Levi and Mikasa had similar values; they were reserved and held privacy in high regard, so he would never pry into her life, and she acted accordingly.

They were satisfied with this settlement, but Hange Zoë — Levi’s lifelong friend and frequent house-crasher (she used to come every week until he forbade her to do so) — got hysterical whenever she asked something about Mikasa and he didn’t have the answer.

 _“You have to talk to her more! Like... a father and daughter conversation!”_ she bellowed, to which Levi creased his eyebrows.

_“She has a mother to talk to, you know.”_

Levi wasn’t fit to be a father, and he was pretty sure Mikasa didn’t _want_ _him_ to be hers. Besides, he never felt the need to fill that assertive role because, in all honesty, he trusted her. Not that he would confess it to her.

 _I bet Erwin would have the stupidest grin on his face, he knew how much I trusted her_ , he caught himself thinking, but quickly shook the thought away. He didn’t want to get all melancholic on a Friday night.

“Anyway, who’s driving?”

“Eren.” Mikasa said defiantly, knowing that Levi wouldn’t be too happy with the answer.

“Oh, _hell_ no”

He wasn’t the biggest fan of the kid and didn’t trust him for simple chores, let alone behind the wheel, but that was beside the point. The real problem was that Yeager’s beaten-up Mercedes couldn’t even be considered a car anymore; it should have been turned to scrap long ago. It originally belonged to his older half-brother, Zeke — a man Levi hated to guts — and it was nothing short of a miracle that it was still working, which, in fact, it wasn’t.

“That piece of junk died in the middle of a fucking avenue. Yeager almost got into an accident”

“The engine died. You know it wasn’t his fault.”

“You know that doesn't make it any better, right?”

Mikasa frowned, still on the defense. Levi sighed. Her lifelong crush on Eren wasn’t exactly news for anyone. In fact, it was clear as day for all _but_ Eren — as far as Levi knew, the boy was too dense to realize it.

“Anyway, you’re not gonna ride back with him if he’s drunk”

“Armin said he could drive back”

“…Somehow, that’s even worse” Levi sighed.

Armin, the third piece to their inseparable trio was a nice kid, especially when compared to Yeager. He was shy, but very polite and earnest, always offering to fix lunch or wash the dishes when they came over to hang out with Mikasa. But he was one of those jumpy drivers. From what Levi gathered, the boy was even worse than Hange, and that was saying a lot, since that crazy woman got her license revoked once.

“Well... he’s getting better.” Mikasa claimed, albeit a little uncertain. She was always more than ready to defend Eren and Armin.

“Fine”, Levi brushed it off with annoyance, letting his gaze fall back on the soundless blur of the TV. “Just let me know you came back in one piece. And no drunk driving. I’m serious.”

“Sure” she held her hands up in defense. “I promise”

While her ride wasn’t there, she pulled up her legs on the armchair and let her head fall on her knees, and she and Levi quietly watched the TV. For a moment, she let nostalgia hit her, as she remembered the time when they did that every week; she, Levi and Erwin — spending a whole Friday night watching movies and documentaries, eating whatever Erwin had prepared, and letting a comfortable silence sink in. She was much younger at that time — how long had it been since the man died, after all? For a split second, she considered sharing the thought with her cousin, but quickly gave up on the idea.

“What?” He asked, noticing her quiet stare.

“Nothing” she shrug her head as her phone started buzzing. “Ah, they’re here.”

Levi watched the girl stand up and head to the door.

“Have fun. Try not to do anything stupid, or I’m calling the cops on you guys”

* * *

Something was wrong.

Armin had been feeling it for a while now, and it didn’t have to do with the party — although that was also _definitely_ wrong. A loud beat assaulted his ears, and the distinctive smell of alcohol permeated the air, thick and nauseating. There were more people crammed in there than what he considered safe, and everyone was moving around energetically, jumping up and dancing in a way that almost made him feel claustrophobic.

It wasn't like he hated parties, but he wouldn’t call himself a party-person either; far from that. Usually, he only tagged along for two main reasons — one being Eren's insistence. He always sent him a million messages in a row that ranged from _‘it’s gonna be fun!’_ to _‘you don’t wanna miss Connie running around in his underwear again’_ , which Armin definitely _did_ want to miss, but he couldn’t deny that the texts made him happy. It was nice to know his friend appreciated his presence so much, and besides, he didn’t want to be a killjoy. The other reason was because, in all honesty, he felt rather lonely the nights he decided not to go.

Besides, he loved spending time with his friends, whether they were sober or drunk and doing questionable things. If he could be by Eren and Mikasa’s side, it didn’t really matter where he was. He enjoyed watching them have fun, especially Eren.

Generally, the brunette wasn’t a heavy drinker, with a few exceptions — like family reunions, when Zeke sneaked him a bottle or two, to Carla’s utter annoyance. But when it came to parties, Eren didn’t hold back. He didn’t need alcohol to have fun, but it certainly widened his grin and got even more laughs out of him. Mikasa didn’t drink as much as Eren, generally opting to stay sober enough to keep Armin company and to take care of the brunette when he went a little too far, but she did get a fair dose of alcohol in her system at parties, especially when someone — usually Annie or Ymir — challenged her for an endurance contest.

As for Armin, he was fine getting whatever non-alcoholic drink was available and finding a spot to sit down and enjoy the party from afar, where he could watch people dance and get wasted, all the while shouting at the top of his lungs in order to talk to his best friends or whoever was sitting by his side, usually Marco, who also kept a low profile.

But today, his usual routine wasn’t working. No matter how much he tried to distract himself, deep down in his heart he still felt that something was wrong. And he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“I’m this close to taking off my shirt” Eren stated, trying to fan himself without spilling his drink in the process. Not, not drinks, _drinks_ , Armin noticed. He had one in each hand.

“When the hell did you get another cup?” Mikasa asked, inspecting his hands.

“Oh” he looked down as if just realizing it “I got it for you.” The boy handed her one of the cups, still struggling with the heat. It was indeed very hot in there, a starching contrast to the chilly night outside, and Armin could feel his shirt sticking to his skin. Eren turned his head in time to catch Mikasa wrinkling her nose in disgust after tasting the contents of the cup, and he burst out laughing.

“What’s this? It tastes like crap.”

“I have _no_ idea. Want mine?”

“Sure”

They exchanged drinks, and after sniffing the suspicious green liquid, Eren shrugged and took a big sip.

“Ew. It really tastes like crap” he said, taking another gulp. “Sure you don’t want some, Ar?”

“No, thanks.” The blonde laughed, shaking his head. Eren flashed him a big grin.

It might have been the atmosphere, the overwhelming smell of alcohol or the heat, but Armin felt his heart skip a beat. No, no, no. _Nothing_ was wrong.

“Heeey, Jean’s here! Hiya, Jeaniee!” Sasha exclaimed in a happy shrill. She got there way before they did, and the heavy Southern accent in her voice was the ultimate indicator of how drunk she was. That was the only times she forgot to hide it.

“Man, you look like shit!”

“Thanks, Connie” Jean scoffed and snatched the bottle off the boy’s hands, feigning enthusiasm, but Armin noticed that Connie was right — he was looking a little down. 

“Hey, where’s Marco?” Reiner asked.

“Wasn’t feeling too good” Jean blurted out, quickly changing the subject. “...What the fuck do you have on your mouth, Connie?”

“That, my dear Jean-boy, is the sign of a refined man”

“Why do you even _have_ a cigar?! And don’t fucking call me that.”

“He’s been playing with it ever since we got here. The thing’s not even lit” Annie rolled her eyes.

“Don’t listen to them, it looks hella sexy on you” Ymir smacked the short boy in the back. “Hey, where’s my vodka? I’m sure I left it here”

“It must’ve been… stolen?” Sasha pretended to look for the bottle, a guilty expression on her face.

“What?! I can’t believe you!”

“It wasn’t me. Miks did it!” she shouted suddenly, pointing at the other girl, who had an unfazed expression. Ymir shot daggers at Sasha, not buying her obvious lie.

“Damn, I was gone for, like, five minutes!”

“ _Five minutes_ my ass. You and Historia were sucking face for two hours straight” Annie snorted.

“Oh, shut up” Ymir chided. “Anyways, now that Jean-boy graced us with his presence and we’re all here…”

“Who the hell came up with that shitty nickname?” Jean interrupted.

“And Marco’s not here” Eren added.

“Well, yeah, now that we’re all here, except for Marco, may his soul rest in peace…”

“Oh my god, Mimi, don't say that!” Historia admonished, her pale skin all flushed, no trace of sobriety left.

“Yeah _, Mimi_ , don’t be so mean” Sasha poked Ymir’s arm, a stupid grin on her face, which only made Historia’s blush deepen.

“Let me finish, goddamit!” the girl shooed Sasha away and raised her drink “Now that we’re all here… yeah, yeah, except for Marco… Let’s par-tay!”

“Hell yeah!” Connie shouted as they toasted “Time for body shots!”

“Ew, spare me, shorty” Jean grimaced.

“Me first!” Sasha yelled.

Armin snickered. Coming to the party was the right choice, after all. Being with his friends was always the right choice. He might not love parties, but he was happy. Throughout the night, he even allowed Eren and Mikasa to guide him to the middle of the crowd — he didn’t have the guts (nor the wish) to risk any dance moves, but he let his body sway to the rhythm and even recognized a song or two. But when he started to get a little tired and his friends, a little crazy, with Sasha and Connie doing a two-person Conga line and Reiner challenging Mikasa to a quick brawl — only to get his ass beaten by her, who brought home gold medals in juvenile kickboxing competitions, after all — the blonde decided it was time to head to his usual spot.

The sofa was the ultimate commodity at any party — it was rarely empty, and today was no exception. Luckily, Armin recognized a friendly face in one of the prized spots: Jean was leaning on the armrest, his eyes unfocused and dimmed, paying no mind to the couple ferociously making out by his side (another type of “sofa regulars”, and the ones Armin dreaded the most). Even as he approached him, it took Jean some seconds to register his presence.

“Oh, sorry,” he snapped out of his thoughts, a little distraught “didn’t see you there”.

“Don’t sweat it” Armin smiled. He was trying to figure out if there was any way to sit down without disturbing the couple; Jean glared at them and scooted over so his friend could fit in, and the blonde had to squish himself in that tight spot. The couple was too busy to complain.

“Tired?” Jean asked.

“Kinda. I don’t have their energy” Armin pointed his head towards their friends.

“ _No one_ has their energy. Ugh, look, Sasha and Connie are still at it”

Armin chuckled at the sight of the two, running around and bumping into every other person, managing to spill a handful of drinks in the process. Even from the distance, he could tell Mikasa looked exasperated, but she had reached the point where she was too drunk to care, so she let them be. Armin let his gaze rest on his two best friends.

Eren was doing a stupid dance on purpose, a silly grin on his face, while Mikasa laughed whole heartedly at his antics, her defenses completely down — a very rare sight. Even drunk, she was used to be very composed; while she might lose some of her usual placidness — which people always mistook for shyness, but it was just part of her collected nature — and let down some of her walls, she always kept her feelings in check around Eren. Armin noticed that, even drunk, she never dared to cross the invisible line that divided friendship and something else. The line that wasn’t meant to be crossed. And he knew it wasn’t easy for her. Eren was very warm and passionate, and these traits were enhanced when he had alcohol in his system; he became at least ten times more intense, and made sure to show his affection for the things he liked and people he loved… like his friends.

Armin watched as the brunette took Mikasa by the hand to spin her towards him, giggling when she bumped into Sasha — who was still engrossed in whatever it was she was doing. Mikasa still looked a little reluctant, but even as a tint of a blush made way to her face, something Eren failed to notice, she surrendered little by little, letting herself be washed away by his joy and excitement.

The blonde boy smiled. Ever since they were small, Eren had this type of presence — he was surprisingly gentle, and the warmth of his smile was enough to turn a bad day for the better. In fact, whenever Armin was sad, Eren would unexpectedly pop up at his house, a backpack full of games and the promise of a night full of laughter. He helped Armin through the worst moments of his life: when he was bullied as a kid, when his grandfather — his favorite person in the whole world —passed away... Whenever there was a bump in the road, Eren was sure to be there.

But that was it. That _had_ to be it. He couldn’t let the situation escalate to something else, couldn’t afford losing the two people he loved the most, especially when he knew how Mikasa felt. He had watched her steal glances at Eren, loving him silently for over a decade, and Armin cheered for her with all his heart. He truly wished for the day when his best friend would finally realize her feelings for him. The more reason to be frustrated with himself. The blonde shook his head to chase the thoughts away and looked distractedly at Jean, who was sitting quietly at his side, lost in his own thoughts. But Armin noticed he was staring at the same direction — where his two best friends were dancing. It took Jean a couple of seconds to feel Armin’s gaze, but when he did, he quickly averted his eyes, flustered.

“I... wasn’t really looking”

Armin chuckled, nodding his head understandingly. The other boy took a quick sip of his drink and sighed, a weary expression making way to his face again. “God, I’m such an idiot”

“Huh?” Armin was caught off guard by his remark. “Why?”

“No reason. Just stating a fact.”

“You’re not an idiot, Jean”

“I really am. But thanks, Ar.”

He took another sip from his cup and fell into a heavy, dejected silence. Armin silently analyzed his profile, wondering if it would be better to say something or just stay quiet. But the other boy looked so disheartened that he couldn't help getting a little worried.

“Jean... are you alright?”

“Yeah... I think I just had too much to drink”

Considering he was the last one to get there, it might be truth that he had more in a couple hours then the others did in the whole party, but that was obviously not the problem.

“Well, I don’t wanna be nosy...” Armin started shyly, “But if you ever need to get something off your chest, I’m all ears.” He flashed him a gentle, reassuring smile. Jean turned his attention to the boy, silently considering his offer. After a few seconds, he sighed and let his gaze fall to his feet.

“Well, maybe I’ll lend your ears for a minute, then.”

Armin smiled. “They might not be in best shape cause Eren was screaming a lot when we were dancing, but they’re probably still working”

Jean chuckled, his frown softening up a little. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“It’s nothing, really. I’m just a coward. When shit hits the fan, I don’t even think twice and run away from it all…” he proclaimed, still looking down. “And I’m such an asshole that I still have the guts to look at Mikasa, even in the middle of this shitshow.”

“Well, she _is_ looking really pretty tonight.”

“She is. Always.”

“… And I don’t think you’re an asshole, Jean”

“But I am. I hurt …someone” he said, choosing every word carefully “the person I care about the most. And even now I… I don’t know what to do. There’s _nothing_ I can do. I’m so fricking useless”

His pain was palpable, etched in every word. Armin let his hand fall on the boy’s shoulder and flashed him a shy but reassuring smile.

“I’m sure you’re gonna find a way to fix the situation. That’s why everyone looks up to you for guidance”

“Me? People look up to Reiner, sure, but to me? I think that’s a stretch”

“Well, I think you’re amazing. Really. You always stand up for your friends, and people look up to you. Even Eren.”

The sincerity in his voice made Jean smile with self-derision.

“That’s because you’re such a nice person. You always find the good in everyone, just like Marco. That’s why I can’t forgive myself for hurting him…” he let his head fall to his hands, but suddenly shot it up again, an alarmed expression on his face.

He probably felt like he said too much, but Armin knew it could only have to do with the freckled boy’s absence. So, they probably had a fight. Marco and Jean were inseparable just as much as Eren, Mikasa and himself, so he could imagine how bad he was feeling right now. Armin nodded and flashed him an encouraging smile, silently signing that it was okay to continue if he wanted to.

Jean blinked, trying to recompose himself.

“I… yeah… so, things aren’t too good right now” he said tentatively, still unsure of how much he should share.

“I’m really sorry about that.”

“We’re… not really talking anymore” Jean admitted in a strained voice, to Armin’s surprise. “I thought I could just come to this stupid party, drink ‘till I passed out and pretend nothing’s happening… but that was obviously a shitty plan. And I can’t even tell him I’m sorry cause it’ll make him hurt more”

“I’m sure he’ll forgive you, no matter what. He always does.” Armin smiled gently. That’s how Marco was – gentle and forgiving, no matter what happened.

“That’s the worst part – he forgave me. And I didn’t even apologize.”

Jean let his eyes dart to his cup and fell into a deep silence. Armin felt like it wasn’t his place to say anything. Apparently, it had been a big fight. He patted Jean’s back comfortingly, like his grandfather did to him when he was young. After a couple of minutes, the boy sighed.

“Sorry, Ar. You don’t have to listen to my bullshit. I don’t wanna ruin your night”

“It’s not bullshit,” he said gently, his earnest blue eyes staring straight at Jean’s dazed ones. “Feelings are never bullshit. And I really don’t mind listening. Trust me, you’re doing me a favor”

“Eren dragged you here, didn’t he? That idiot.” Jean scoffed.

“No- I mean, he did, but-”

Jean cackled, and Armin stopped trying to explain himself to join him with a little giggle. He was relieved to see Jean loosening up, even if it was just for the moment – it was still a small achievement. Jean sighed, but he seemed a little cheerier.

“Why does everything get so complicated?”

“Tell me about it” Armin acquiesced, letting a small sigh escape his lips. Out of reflex, his eyes darted to the direction of his friends, but he couldn’t recognize any familiar faces in the crowd. They weren’t there anymore.

Jean observed him silently.

“Hey… are _you_ alright?”

Armin nodded in an exaggerated fashion and flashed him a nervous grin “Yeah, yeah, I’m ok. I’m just starting to get a little sleepy, is all.”

Jean recognized a fake smile when he saw one – hell, the same expression had been plastered on his face all day long, and besides, Armin wasn’t exactly the best at hiding emotions, but he saw how eager he was to pretend everything was fine, so he decided to just let the blonde be for now.

“Well. No wonder. It’s past 4 already”

“What?! Really?”

“Yeah… fuck, and I have to go shopping with my mom tomorrow morning”

Armin fished his phone out of his pocket to check if there were any messages from his parents, just in case – although he told them before-hand he would sleep at Eren’s – but instead, was surprised with a text from Mikasa. 6 of them, actually. His first instinct was getting concerned; he knew very well his friend wasn’t in good terms with technology, much like her cousin, and even though she texted him and Eren every day, her messages were usually short and straight to the point. But when he opened them, a relieved chuckle escaped from his lips.

04:02 _U still with that bastard?  
_04:02 _Tell him to get his ugly ass here right noe  
_04:02 _Sorry, that was Eren  
_04:03 _Are you still w Jean?  
_04:03 _Reiner fell asleep on the floor and Annie wants to go home  
_04:16 _Ar, are you there?_

“Mikasa’s looking for you”

“Mikasa?” In spite of himself, Jean couldn’t hide the small glint of hope and surprise in his eyes.

“Well, I mean, they’re all looking for you. Apparently, Reiner’s passed out and Annie wants to leave”

“Ugh, that idiot” Jean facepalmed.

After his parent’s divorce, he and his mom moved to the northeast part of the city, near the apartment complex were Annie, Reiner and Bertolt lived, so it wasn’t unusual for the four of them to share a cab home, since they were all going to the same direction anyway. Although he liked his new place, Jean considered it to be the beginning of his downfall, because sharing a taxi with a wasted Reiner wasn’t exactly easy, and he had to help Annie and Bertolt carry him upstairs more times than he could remember already. Reiner’s mom, Karina, was a nice lady, and always offered them coffee before leaving, as a way of saying thanks for all the help with her imprudent son.

Armin’s phone buzzed in his hand – another text from Mikasa, now asking him if he was ok and if he had been kidnapped by Jean (Eren’s words, not hers, as she added). He typed a quick response and stood up, stretching his arms above his head. Only then he noticed the couple making out wasn’t there anymore; funny, he didn’t even see the leave. Jean mimicked him, abandoning his seat, but when Armin was about to take a step away, his face still glued to the screen, he felt a light touch on his arm.

“Hey, Ar…” Jean was holding him gently, pulling his back. He looked fidgety, like he wanted to say something but was struggling with the words. At last, he let a smile – the first real one in the whole night – work its way across his face.

“Thanks. Really”

* * *

“Now a little to the left.” Mikasa gestured with her hands and got a nervous grunt for a reply. “Just a little bit more… Right. Perfect”

“ _Perfect_ is a bit of an overstatement” Armin sighed in defeat. “Come on, Mika, we both know I suck.”

“But you’re getting better” she flashed him a proud smile. She and Eren were always very supportive of him.

“That’s because I have good teachers”

The blonde always thought driving would be like playing a game: you learned the mechanics and then it all became sort of automatic. In theory, it sounded fairly simple – but his first real practice with a car proved to be an arduous task; honestly, it was nothing short of a miracle how he still managed to get his license. His parents never had a car, and Eren and Mikasa were convinced that Armin would never overcome his fear if he didn’t have enough practice, so they took turns giving him driving lessons. They made him roam around peaceful neighborhoods and drive them back from parties – when the streets were calm and practically empty.

“Eren, we’re here” Mikasa shook the boy passed out on the back seat.

“W-what?” He snapped awake, taking in the surroundings and yawning. “Jeez, that was quick”

“No, that’s the booze” Mikasa stated.

Armin closed the driver’s door carefully to avoid making too much noise. “It took us twenty minutes to get here”

“Damn, did I drink that much?” He scratched his disheveled hair, trying to smooth it out.

“Not as much as last week” the girl stifled a small yawn.

“Ugh, tell me about it…”

The trio was standing in Eren’s front lawn, waiting for the brunette to pat all his pockets in search of the keys. Although Armin and Mikasa lived nearby and could get home in less than 10 minutes, being friends for more than 10 years meant that they had some unspoken rituals, one of them being sleeping at each other’s houses after a party. It was usually at Eren’s, whose room was slightly bigger than theirs, but they often went to Armin and Mikasa too – especially when Levi wasn’t home.

“I know!” The brunette exclaimed as he unlocked the front door. “Let’s watch a horror movie!”

The blonde checked his watch with an exasperated expression. “Eren, it’s 5 in the morning”

“Exactly, that’s the perfect time for a horror movie”

But despite his enthusiasm, after the trio tiptoed their way to his room amidst many _shushes_ and _be quiets_ – all directed at Eren – so that they wouldn’t wake Carla and Dr. Yeager up, the boy threw himself down onto his bed, fatigue finally catching up to him. Out of habit, he turned on the small TV on the wall, the sound barely audible, and let the white noise fill the room.

“Boy, am I tired,” he declared, stifling a yawn, but got up again to help Mikasa pull out the guest bed for Armin. The girl always slept in the brunette’s bed – another unspoken rule, but that was something they did ever since they were small.

The three of them squeezed together on the lower mattress, talking about the party when, out of nowhere, Eren decided to throw his arms around his two best friends, pulling them into a big bear hug, smiling from ear to ear.

“Man, I love you guys so much”

“…Where did that come from?” Mikasa feigned annoyance, but from his position, Armin could see she was turning red.

“Can’t show a little love for my two best friends in the whole world?”

“You’re drunk, get out” she pushed him off, a shadow of a smile on her face.

“I’m 100% not drunk, watch this” He stood up, opened his arms wide and tried to stand still in one foot, but tumbled after a couple of seconds, falling flat on his ass. “Ok, maybe I’m… 95% not drunk?”

“The 5% is all that counts” Mikasa mocked.

“That reminds me,” Armin turned his head to the girl. “Sasha was completely whacked. Did she get home?”

She nodded. “Her texts were beyond comprehension, but I asked for a picture to see if she was really home.” She heaved a deep sigh and facepalmed. “…she thought I was asking for a nude”

“Oh man, what did she say this time?” Eren giggled, having witnessed countless times how utterly _peculiar_ Sasha’s drunken texts could be.

Mikasa fished the phone out of her purse, and the two boys leaned over the screen.

04:56 _kikasaaaa lov u  
_04:56 _youa im def qrqchone  
_04:56 _justin bieber_

Eren barked out a laugh, and even Armin had to suppress a chuckle.

“Well, she _is_ always talking about Bieber” the blonde stated. Justin Bieber – Bibby, for close friends – was Sasha’s giant German Sheppard, the love of her life and probably the only word her spell checker always got right.

“Yeah, I saw she walking Bibby in the- _hic_ ” a hiccup escaped the brunette’s lips. “Damn, maybe I _am_ a bit drunk.”

“You’re probably tired” Armin chuckled, knowing Eren wasn’t the type to give in to sleep.

“Kinda.” He admitted. “You must be beat, Miks. You had training this morning, right?”

She nodded. “That damn shorty made me wake up at 5”

“When’s the next fight?”

“Next Saturday. Can you come this time, Ar?”

“Sure thing” the blonde assured her.

“Last fight was insane, you should’ve seen it” Eren said as he opened his messy wardrobe and threw some clothes unceremoniously at his friends’ direction. Eren turned his head to Mikasa, still scavenging the drawers. “I think those shorts you wear are in the laundry bag”

“Anything will do” she replied with a shrug.

Another unspoken ritual was sharing clothes – granted, that didn’t always work. Armin was on the skinny side and always looked like a potato sack in Eren’s clothes. The brunette, in turn, had to borrow a shirt from Armin’s father sometimes. Besides, he wasn’t the biggest fan of pajamas and sleepwear in general. While he couldn’t very well walk around half naked in other people’s homes – especially Mikasa’s, where Levi would certainly mow him down if he did anything of the sort – he’d rather throw on a light shirt or just be on his boxers if he were at home. It was just another ‘Eren thing’, and Armin and Mikasa were used to that particular habit to some extent.

“Ar, is this one okay?” he showed him a big white shirt.

“Yeah. Is it okay if I take a bath?” the blonde asked shily. “I’m pretty sure Sasha spilled her drink on me. Twice.”

“Dude, I got you covered” Eren grinned, throwing him a towel.

“Thanks” he said timidly.

“I don’t know why you ask every time. Mi casa es su casa. No pun intended this time, Miks”

“I don’t even bother with this one anymore”.

“Ah! I almost forgot,” Eren exclaimed while taking off his shirt. “That jerk totally stole you from us today. What was he babbling about?”

“Uh…? Oh, you mean Jean?” Armin asked, suddenly very nervous. Lying to his friends was something he dreaded, but betraying someone’s trust was even worse. Jean didn’t explicitly ask him to keep secret, but only because he knew it wasn’t necessary. “Nothing much. Uhm… mostly random things”

“Is he ok?” Mikasa asked with a worried expression. “He didn’t look too good.”

“Oh yeah! He totally looked like shit” Eren seemed to recall, creasing his eyebrows. In the end, he was still Jean’s friend, even with all the name calling and occasional fighting. “What happened? Is he ok?”

“Well, yeah, he’s just… having some problems at home” Armin settled for the first thing that came to mind. Mikasa stared at him, and by the look in her eyes, he could tell she didn’t really buy it, but she didn’t press him on either – the girl trusted him blindly and knew he was probably keeping quiet for a reason. Eren, on the other hand, folded his arms and groaned.

“He’s an idiot. He should know he can count on us for stuff like that, right?”

“He’s too proud. Just like someone I know…” Armin snickered, casting a glance at Eren, who blinked unsuspiciously.

“…What, me?!”

“Well, you have to admit you and Jean are… quite similar”

“What?!” he shouted indignantly, throwing himself down on the bed next to Mikasa and tugging on her shirt. “How am I anything like that moron?!”

Armin could tell the girl was mustering all her strength to act nonchalantly at the sight of Eren’s shirtless figure sprawled next to her.

“You’re both loud and impulsive” she stated.

“You guys are the worst! I take back all my love from before”

Armin and Mikasa looked at each other and shared a giggle, to Eren’s further displeasure. He kept on rambling about ‘Jean’s stupid hair’ and how he ‘could beat him any day in a fight’ – to which Mikasa mentioned _she_ could beat them both, and Eren had to agree. When the conversation gradually steered from that to cage fighting and other martial arts, a subject Eren and Mikasa were really into, but Armin knew nothing about, he took it as a cue to finally head to the shower.

“I’ll be back in a minute, guys”

Armin never took long baths at other people’s houses, not even at Eren’s, which he could consider a second home. But as the hot water rained down on him that night, the blonde couldn’t stop the overflowing thoughts in his head, so he decided to take some time to unwind and assess his situation. Maybe it was time to admit something was wrong, after all.

But it was _Eren_. His best friend since they were five, the most loyal person he ever met and the best company he could ask for. Besides, he was the very person his _other_ best friend was in love with, for whom she did the craziest things without so much as batting an eye. In his head, he didn’t have the right to feel whatever it was he was feeling, especially knowing how much effort Mikasa put into ignoring her own feelings every day, pretending it would be completely crazy to think about Eren in a romantic way. She wasn’t fooling anyone – all of their friends knew she had a crush on him ever since ever. But in the end, it didn’t really matter, because the only one she was trying to convince was herself… and Eren. And if she could do it, why couldn’t Armin?

When he finally got back, he couldn’t hear their laughter and conversation anymore. The lights and the TV were still on, but his two best friends were sprawled across Eren’s single bed, tangled into each other and deep into sleep. Mikasa might have complete control over her emotions when she was awake, but her body showed her true feelings when she was asleep; her hand rested on Eren’s chest and she looked completely at peace. The brunette had one leg on top of hers – a habit he had ever since he was young. Against his own will, Armin’s eyes darted to the boy’s face. Even as his hair fell on his face, disheveled, he was still beautiful. The most beautiful person Armin ever met.

The blonde shook his head and directed his gaze elsewhere. ‘ _I don’t have the right to feel like this’_.

He was about to turn off the lights when, out of habit, he grabbed his phone distractedly. To his surprise, there was a text from Jean.

05:37 _hey, i was just wondering…  
_05:37 _are u really ok?_  
05:37 _if you wanna talk to someone… you know  
_05:38 _just hit me up_

A smile worked its way to his face without him even realizing it.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! how're you guys doing?  
> sooo, I was itching to write a shingeki fic for a long time now, and I started sketching out the base for this story almost two months ago, but tiresome weeks of work (and my lazy ass) prevented me from ever finishing this. but now... it's finally here!
> 
> this was supposed to be just an introduction to the main three storylines: the domestic levi + mikasa family relationship, eren and mikasa's developing relationship and armin's crush on eren, which will eventually involve jean, but the chapter turned out longer than I expected, especially because i decided to follow through with my initial plan to cover the whole night. also, I'm rating it T for now, but I'm pretty sure the rating might go up eventually.
> 
> so... I don't know how long this story will be, but my initial plan is to write 10 chapters at most... or so I hope. also, I just got out of a looong shift at work and my brain's long turned into a no man's land, so I apologize for any mistakes or inconsistencies. hope you guys like it! please, feel free to share any comments, feedback or complaints <3


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